Happy Endings And New Beginnings

It’s August…Seriously guys it’s August. Where the heck did that come from? As soon as 1st August hit, a sudden surge of excitement rushed through me. This may come as a surprise to people as, surely, I should have been excited from the beginning. Instead, the past few months have been spent stumbling about trying to get stuff done and attempting to hide the sheer panic instilled by the torrent of tricky questions thrown at me. At times I felt like I was being grilled by Paxman.

Most frequent questions I’ve been asked:

1. How much money have you saved/are you going to take? - these questions came at a time when I was desperately trying to sell my car and was discreetly begging for people to buy my tat on eBay. I hate this question. My usual response is - whatever is left in my bank account on 26th August. Ha!

2. How many people are you planning on sleeping with? Which is shortly followed by the statement - you do realise how lucky you are right? You can sleep with as many people as you like without any consequences. Nobody will know what you’ve been up to. I’m so jealous! - at this point my mind starts building up a conspiracy theory involving the nurse from blog 6. Who have you been talking to?!

3. Are you looking for love/what will you do if you meet someone whilst you’re away/would you stay in Oz if you meet someone? - this is just a few variations of the same theme which is on the other end of the spectrum from point 2. I don’t bloody know! Obviously my idea of meeting new people translates into shagging around or finding the love of my life. Sheesh.

4. Are you excited? - this is my favourite. The last person who said that, I turned and said “meh, not really.” Again, another moment where sarcasm fails as the response I got was “Aww, why not? I bet you are really” *face palm*

5. What are you going to do when you get back? - I saved the best ‘til last. Now what kind of question is this? What am I supposed to say to this? Do you know precisely what you’re going to be doing in a year’s time? If you do, you’re either boring (as you do the same thing every day!) or you are lying. I. Don’t. Know. This whole trip is about living for the now so why would I have thought about what I’d do when I get back? Go away.

Despite the fact that I can usually predict what questions/statements are going to be uttered my way, I still can’t help but tell anyone that will listen. As most people close to me (as in those within walking distance during day-to-day life) know that I’m going away, I don’t feel like I can excited around them so much anymore. Not unless I want a punch in the face anyway. “Yeeeees we know you’re going away. Stop going on about it already!”. Which means I’ve had to find new people to tell. It’s been a fun game of mine. A sort of Six Degrees of Separation, but instead of getting from one person to another, I’m getting from whatever subject is being discussed, to my trip. I come into contact with a lot of people coming in for interviews at work. I always get the standard “How long have you worked here?” and “Do you enjoy your job?”. See this one’s easy. I lead on to the fact that I’m leaving my job and then they instinctively fall in to the trap of asking me why…mwhaha. I’ve also shamelessly dropped it into conversations with customers when I’m waitressing. Sometimes it worked and I got a juicy tip, sometimes it didn’t work but it still lead to some interesting conversations with tourists. Aussies and Americans love a bit of carvery, haha.

I’ve finished my waitressing job now. My last day came and went so quickly that I never did anything exciting or dramatic. I thought it would be funny if I was alternately rude. It was so busy I didn’t even get chance to properly say goodbye. I think I managed to do that and a whole lot more at the my leaving do! I haven’t been out drinking since October last year. It’s been a long time coming. I can’t believe it’s all coming to an end already. I hope my year out doesn’t go as quickly as the past 8 months have.

Every day I keep seeing people’s big announcements on Facebook. In the space of one week I saw that 2 people announced their pregnancies and one announced an engagement. My Facebook currently stands at 2 just marrieds, 6 engagements and 4 pregnancies. That’s just off the top of my head, there are probably more than that! A lot of these people are the same age as me or younger. Number of people sacking everything off to go travelling…2. They’re only going away for a few months though so I’m not sure that even counts. Oh well. I’ve never been one for convention! It’s great that people have found their happy endings so soon in life. I’m getting a new beginning. Things will never be the same again. This could be in a good way or a bad way. I have no idea what I’m doing, where my life is heading in the grand scheme of things or what I want to do with my life….I’ve never felt better.

Missing

Right, that’s it, I’ve had enough, I’m ready to go now…well not literally. I don’t have everything booked yet, I have no money, and I don’t even have a backpack! So maybe I’m not technically ready but my mind is already wandering away. I find myself randomly staring into space JD style and I daydream about my trip.

What’s the worst that can happen? That’s what someone said to me before they backtracked and thought about it and we both laughed. During my planning stage a volcano has erupted in Japan, cyclones and floods have plagued parts of Australia and now an earthquake in New Zealand. Mother Nature is having a field day at the moment. If it doesn’t stop I fear my mum might imprison me or blackmail me to stay.

At the moment my thoughts are leaning more towards change and adjustment. It’s rather strange. I could be doing something inane like brushing my teeth and I think “hmm, I won’t have an electric toothbrush whilst I’m away…”. Or I’ll be straightening my hair and think “I am going to have a LOT of bad hair days next year.”  Whilst getting changed, I reach into the bottomless pit that is my wardrobe, and I sometimes think – “what the hell am I going to wear whilst I’m away?!” It’s endless! I also keep thinking about what I’ll miss and what I won’t miss. When my mum asks for a play-by-play of what I will be doing when I go out I keep thinking “soon I will be freeee!”. That’s the punishment for not moving out I guess. I have always said I can’t afford to move out. I can’t really say that now seen as I will have spent, in total, the same amount of money people use as a deposit on a house or a fancy wedding!

I’m going all High Fidelity on you guys…

Top 5 things I think I’ll miss:

1. A wardrobe – what would usually be a sufficient amount of clobber for a weekend away needs to last me a year. Is the hobo look in this year?
   
   
2. Mummy’s cooking – Yes I still have my tea cooked for me sometimes…ok most of the time, haha. Well if it’s on offer it would be rude not to eat it surely. I hear New Zealand is good for cake so there’ll be at least one place where I can have a yummy dessert.
   
   
3. Shower and other home comforts - I will miss my hot steamy power showers. I'm not a bath person so I'm not bothered about that. For the prices I'll be paying, I'm not optimistic about the facilities which await me! I’ve booked an en suite room for when I do my voluntary work in Thailand, but that could mean anything! Karl Pilkington's reaction in An Idiot Abroad where he thought he was getting a plush ride from Sky was hilarious. There was one scene where he was told he was getting an en-suite room and when he arrived it was a cupboard with a hole in the bottom. I couldn't find the scene on YouTube but there is the moment in China which makes me laugh.
   
   
4. Duvet days – not that I get much of them now, what with working every day, but I think I’ll definitely miss those days where you wake up and do absolutely nothing but envelope yourself in your duvet and read/watch DVDs/eat Ben & Jerrys etc etc. See I’ll be sleeping in dorms so privacy isn’t an option. I do have moments where I’m halfway between being awake and asleep and not really knowing where I am. This could be at home, at a mate’s house, in a hotel or whatever so I do fear I’ll wake up and think that I’m at home and do something crazy like belt out the first song that pops in my head. I do tend to randomly break into song. One day at work I started singing Mr Sandman and one of the directors joined in. It was a surreal but funny moment. I might try that when I’m having a down day and am missing home. Not sure Mr Sandman was a worldwide hit though. I might get sectioned! That’s another thing, no more singing in the shower. Daaaamn. Well I could…but I doubt it’d go down well.
   
   
5. Being connected – I sound like a BT advert but I will definitely miss having my phone and being able to text/call/google whenever I want. I hope I can update my blog a few times a month and hope to get a sim card in Australia where I’ll be spending most of my time.

Top 5 things I don’t think I’ll miss:

1. Schedules and updates – Sorry Mum but I miss my uni days where I could roam free and not have to submit a step-by-step POA to my parents. “Where are you going? Who with? Ooo a boy, what’s this now? What time are you going out? What time will you be back?...” Argh! My brother had none of this. Yes I am pulling out the gender card, sue me! I am hardly ever spontaneous so I am looking forward to just going free! It can take months to organise things with friends so perhaps the “Being connected” point above might not be such a bad thing. Rather than texting back and forth or Facebooking people, I can sort things out in person.
   
   
2. Work – I’m actually enjoying my second job. I’m not sat in an office on my own and I get to talk to people, real-life people face-to-face and everything! So it’s not the job in itself that I won’t miss, more like the stress that it induces. No more waking up at daft-o-clock suddenly realising that someone in Milton Keynes needs a new sim card. I am also realising that I am fast becoming Roy in the IT Crowd – “Have you tried switching it off and on again?” or “Have you tried logging off and logging back on again?”. I am IT administrator and I deal with mobile phones so it’s double the joy. I will be working in Oz but it will only be manual jobs so hopefully the social aspect will shine over the back breaking hard labour part!
   
   
3. People – I put that as a general term as there are so many different types which I won’t miss. The great thing about travelling is that if a friendship or what-not blows up in my face, I’ll be catching a flight soon and I may never see them again. I’m not saying this in a way that I’m going to be a complete dick to everyone, speak my mind and sod the rest and walk in with a superior attitude, no no no. What I mean is that I can totally be myself and I’ll (hopefully!) meet so many people that I’ll find at least one or two people that I don’t want to punch in the face after 5 minutes of conversation. Back of the neeeet.
   
   
4. Facebook – for me, it is like the infamous activity of rubbernecking past a car crash or crime scene. I know what I’m getting, I might not necessarily like what I see but I can’t help but have a peek. Facebook is bullshit. Let’s face it, I could write any old thing on my status and it means nothing. Just because someone writes about how spectacular their life is, doesn’t make it so. I do like the dramatics though. The people who post a status along the lines of  - “Oh my God, I can’t believe what just happened. Why could life be so cruel?” And loads of people comment and either a) they don’t actually say what is wrong – pffft or b) the answer is something pathetic like “Did you just see what happened in Eastenders? It’s awful.” So no, they’re not suffering bereavement or are going through a tragic moment…they’re just taking Eastenders a little bit too seriously. So as much as I like that Facebook keeps me in touch with a few people I don’t get to see as much these days, I definitely won’t miss the ludicrousness.
   
   
5. Pressure – the same conversation keeps following me. Careers and degree. “So what do you want to do with your life?” and “Why aren’t you using your degree?”. Judgement. I don’t know what I want to do, do you? But I always feel embarrassed and try and blag my way out of the conversation which usually ends up with me wanting to punch them in the face (a running theme perhaps). No matter what I say people tend to shit on it so now I respond with a simple “I don’t know. I’m in no rush.” I thought this would be the easier option. Instead, I get people throwing suggestions at me “Why don’t you get onto that BBC and get a job there?” and so on and so forth. It’s like I need saving. If you don’t have a career plan you’re doomed, doomed I tell you!!