From the outset, Surfers Paradise looks a lot like how I imagine California to be. A long stretch of an over populated beach edged with a concrete path for joggers and dog walkers. Tall apartment buildings tower over designer shops and boutiques. Whilst looking a little closer, you find a heavy Japanese influence. They have Japanese food chains (e.g. Mos Burger), a Japanese Tourist Information Office, Japanese signposts and even the Japanese noodle bowls in the 7 Elevens. If you’re un/lucky (depending on how you feel) enough to find it, you will also discover the heavy night scene. Enter the idiot party ticket touts. We encountered one on our first day, how nice.
Having set up camp (very tricky seen as the ground was rock hard! Our neighbour kindly lent us his hammer), we went back into the city to see what was about. Having had a giggle in Condom Kingdom and a gander in a few other shops, we were found to be looking around for inspiration. The idiot locked eyes with Mel first, then me. Damn. He started with an overly-jovial, “Hi”. Mel struck up a conversation with idiot and I kept her company in the hope that she wouldn’t buy something insane like a party on a boat, on top of a plane to outer space and back…hmm. So yes, idiot tried the hard sell on Mel for which she ummed and arred. For some reason the guy kept nudging and winking at me – specifically at the moments when he said “jelly fight” and “free pizza” – who has he been talking to? Other suggestive things came out of his mouth and towards my direction but my mind was already elsewhere. Steff too was distracted and didn’t want to be involved. We mumbled our excuses and bolted.
These ticket kiosks were a frequent feature within Surfers Paradise. We were down to our last few hundred dollars. The last thing we were going to do was burn it on booze. I fear I am leaning into boring-bastard mode but I don’t care! I can get drunk and make an idiot out of myself at home. Why in the hell would I spend 15K travelling the other side of the world to do the same thing? Exactly. I want to be spewing because I just jumped out of a plane, not because I had one too many jager bombs.
I digress. We did find another way to get our blood pumping and it wasn’t from ramped up dub-step (I can get that for free in the car!). Theme park anyone? They have two theme parks, two water parks and a Sea World. Oooooooo….aaaahhhhhh. Buying a combo ticket for Movie World, Sea World and Wet ‘N’ Wild was our main and only extravagance. On the plus side, it was low season which meant that the parks were practically empty and the tickets were cheap. On the down side, it was low season which meant that now was the time they chose to carry out maintenance on some of the rides. Oh bums.
*****
We awoke to the sing-song chirrups of the birds outside. How lov…
“They’ve shit on the car!” (Steff)
“Aw…and on my towel too!” (Mel)
Haha, the joys of nature. By the time I crawled out of my pit, the offending bird poo had been eradicated and all was well.
Musical interlude
Oh, err, sorry. Today was Sea World day. The handful of people that we had spoken to in Surfers Paradise said that Sea World is pants (my word not theirs. They used something a bit more colourful!). I guess it’s the filler of the combo ticket. As in, they want to charge a lot so include this to bump up the price even though most people who buy this ticket aren’t even arsed about going. Well I wanted to go and see the penguins, dolphins and sharks as did Mel and Steff.
As it was a Sunday, the place was rather busy and bustling with prams and brats that filled them. Yes, I’m still the ice queen that hates children…unless they’re quiet. It’s ok, I kept out of their way and they kept out of mine.
We queued for a while as we had to get our photos taken for our passes. With the combo pass (Movie World, Sea World and Wet ‘N’ Wild) we have unlimited access to each place for three months. This is non-transferable so a picture is needed for verification. The woman couldn’t spell any of our names. Steffan always has problems with his name as most people write is as Stephen. Melissa however isn’t that difficult. The woman spelled my name aloud. D-A-N-I-E-L…ha! It’s been a while since someone made that mistake.
Disappointed with our photos, we slotted them away post-haste. We needed food and I nearly choked when I saw the prices. A small bottle of water was $4. I had a dry sandwich and bought a bottle of water before we entered. It was a hot day and I needed it.
First up was the penguin enclosure. It looked exactly like the one in Happy Feet. I felt sad at first but couldn’t help but laugh at some of the penguins that kept slipping and stumbling around before diving into the water. Steff’s commentary was on top form when he pointed at two penguins that waddled into a cubicle sized indentation in the cave wall. It really did look like two blokes entering and exiting a urinal!
I went a little snap-happy but it’s not every day that you get to see creatures like this up close and personal. I’m hoping to see some in the wild on my travels up the East Coast and New Zealand. Sharks not included of course.
'Sup?
Shark and shark baby.
There wasn’t as much as I thought there was to see. We saw a very sad looking polar bear.
As well as the above, we saw three shows. The first was a dolphin show which was incredible. I tried filming parts and taking photos but I was too slow. In the end I just gave up and enjoyed the view. The dolphins were chucking their trainers up in the air, carrying them along the water and performing spectacular tricks. You never knew what was coming as the dolphins dove into the water. It was quiet….quiet, then a dolphin jumps up and tumbles in the air. The crowd issued the standard “Oooo, aahhhh, woaaah,” then applause.
The same could be said for the jet ski show. The tricks were impressive and were fun to watch. The sea lion show was more for kids so we left before it finished. We managed to get around and see everything within a couple of hours even though we originally planned on spending the whole day there.
Before we left, we stopped off at the roller coaster there. It had been a long time since I’d been on a roller coaster and I was very nervous. It looked like a very fast ride. Most of the time, I don’t usually enjoy roller coasters. I like rides where I am fully secured in but most of the time I don’t feel that way so I get scared. I don’t like that unsettling feeling in my stomach which bubbles away whilst I’m queuing and then gets progressively worse when I board the ride and it never stops.
Strangely, a wave of calm came over me when I boarded the ride. It was a jet ski ride so I wasn’t fully strapped in. I was excited. The ride was brilliant. I didn’t scream either. I couldn’t believe it. I actually had fun on a roller coaster. I felt a lot better about Movieworld now.
No halfway decent place would go without a gift shop and Sea World was no different. They go in for the kill with their dolphin pencil sharpeners, funky notepads and worst of the worst – cuddly toys. I’ve done so well in avoiding my weakness for these yet today I had an excuse to let go. Tomorrow was Mel’s birthday and, up until now, I’d avoided the subject completely in my head and hoped it would go away. My funds were dwindling and I’d like nothing more than to go to the same extent that I did at Christmas and make Mel’s birthday as special as possible. All I had in my head were visions of going all Blue Peter and making some mangled creation from a discarded egg carton and a cereal box. I didn’t even have newspaper and watered down glue! Paper mache was a no-no, damn.
Steff cornered me at a weak moment and asked me what I was doing and I snapped back. It didn’t take much from Steff to make me crumble into a heap of guilt. In comes the gift shop a la Sea World. Thankfully Mel had already gone around and pointed at a few things that she liked. I bought a penguin shopping bag to hide the gifts I had bought Mel. I didn’t realise how well my surreptitious behaviour had worked as Mel went back to the shop to buy a polar bear shopping bag!
We still had half the day left and had no idea what to do. Steff wanted to find a park gym as we drove past a couple of guys doing pull ups by the beach. What Steff lacks in memory capacity is quadrupled in his incredible strength. He has the appetite of a sumo and the diet of a five year old addicted to sweets. Despite this he has such a high energy. I say this through gritted teeth as I don’t eat nearly as much or as badly as him and I’m podgy and feeble.
Steff flung himself around and made it look so easy. Monkey bars used to be my speciality so I rubbed my hands with confidence. I heaved my bulk up and started swinging but something was different. Instead of flying across like I used to, I was struggling to get past the third bar. Oh dear. Now I felt old. Spider Steff was the term Mel had dubbed at that moment. I don’t think there’s a term for my efforts.
As we settled down for the evening, Mel and I tended to our sore arm muscles. Bored of watching films or surfing the net on all our laptops, the guys asked me to read my blog to them. It was an unusual but rather welcome request. Steff was out like a light after my second or third entry. I wasn’t offended as Steff falls asleep so quickly. Mel lasted longer but too got sleepy after a while. I don’t think they realised how many posts I had made. They wanted me to start from the very beginning which was rather apt as my first post is titled Once Upon A Time. Reading bedtime stories to two sleepy listeners…now I definitely feel old!
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