Sunday, 6 January 2013

Please Sir, I Want S'more

Lengthy road journeys have featured heavily in my travels. There were the delightful night buses of South East Asia, my (momentarily) perilous road trip up the east coast in Australia and touring the length and breadth of New Zealand by mini-bus.

These journeys left me with a hefty amount of time on my hands. There’s nowhere I can escape to. I’m bound to my seat accompanied by a random selection of people.

Although you have the risk of snorers and chatty insomniacs, night journeys have actually been the best. It’s the one time where it is socially acceptable to be quiet, ergo I can avoid mundane small talk. I can tune everyone out with a simple switch on my mp3 player. It is inevitable that I won’t get a good night’s sleep but time seems to sail by mysteriously.

Long journeys by day can be painful. Without sleep, I get frustrated being rooted to one specific place for a prolonged time. I have been lucky in the past and met some great people – Mel and Steff are testament to that – but for the most part I get bored.

With over three hundred miles to cover from Joshua Tree National Park to Grand Canyon, relief came with the odd tourist stop.

First stop…

London?

Old London Bridge

My eyes weren’t deceiving me. We stopped off at Lake Havasu City which houses Old London Bridge. The story goes that in 1962 the London Bridge was on its last legs and needed to be replaced. Originally constructed in 1831, this bridge was an antique. Robert McCulloch, founder of Lake Havasu City, submitted a bid of 2.46 million dollars.

Placing the winning bid was the easy part, lugging all those bricks across the pond was a challenge and a half. Each brick was numbered, shipped and driven to the site where it took just over three years to assemble. Piece of cake really.

Seeing cobbled stones and a red telephone box did give me jolts of nostalgia and I seemed to be the only one smiling at this point. Everyone else was underwhelmed.

Our next stop received a bigger reaction. I don’t think we could have tried to be more American as we pitched up along the iconic old Route 66 and devoured peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.


It was my first time enjoying the popular combination and it was tasty. I wasn’t expecting to like it.

Before we hit the road again it was time for a toilet break. We all entered the back yard which was filled with random corny knick-knacks. This place was outwardly cheesy which would certainly give tourists a laugh.

An injection of fresh music made the last part of our journey more bearable. I got on really well with tour guide Ken so I had someone to talk to whilst everyone else slept.

Due to the heat, thirst and the fact that everyone had just woken up, the mood once we reached Grand Canyon was slightly sour. It took us so long to get there, we just wanted to see what all the fuss is about. Ken had other ideas and gathered us round and handed us a flat piece of khaki cloth. What the…

So we’re to tie this piece of cloth around our heads so it covers our eyes? We looked at each other dumbfounded whilst hordes of tourists flooded past us. Are you mad?

We reluctantly followed our orders but soon broke out in laughter at the foolishness of it all. Once we were blindfolded and couldn’t see a thing, Ken positioned us one in front of the other. Each of us held out our right arm and clung to the person in front of us. Ken then guided us to the viewpoint. I could only imagine what the masses of people around us were thinking. We did look like we’d stumbled off a special bus.

As all my inhibitions drained away, I actually realised what a clever idea it was. Grand Canyon is flipping ginormous. As you walk up to the viewpoint you’d be able to see it and take it in gradually. We didn’t have that. As soon as we took off our blindfolds, BAM! I couldn’t ask for a better moment. 

Holy moly!

Looking out from a generic viewpoint wasn’t enough for us, we needed to get a better view of this vast landmark. Helicopter? Go on then!

It was a pricey excursion but I’ve never been in a helicopter before and I really wanted to go out there. Also, everyone else was going up so I’d definitely feel like I was missing out if I didn’t go.

Yet again, I had to get weighed. Naturally I was the heaviest against my petite 19-year-old counterparts. On the plus side, my weight somehow meant I needed to be up front to balance out the craft. See, my badonkadonk has its uses!

Despite the fantastic views, I still managed to drift off towards the end. Whoops. I wasn’t the only one at least. It was a great experience and money well spent.

When we got back we spotted Ken having a kip on the sofa. Before we woke him we took a few photos, naturally.


Wakey wakey!

It had been a long day and we were all beat. We headed off to camp. It was a lot larger than the previous camp we stayed at. I had no idea where the showers were. By the time we set everything up it was dark. I decided to hang around and wait to go with someone else. I did not fancy getting lost in the woods.

Dinner came in the form of hot dogs and corn on the cob. We failed to get our barbecue going so sheepishly Ken had to use somebody else’s. We were so hungry we didn’t care where we got our food.

After our food settled we started a fire and got to toasting some marshmallows in preparation to making s'mores. Yet another American masterpiece that I’d not had the joy of gobbling. There is a knack to making the perfect s'more and I did a fair job. I slowly toasted my marshmallows, making sure that it toasted enough to be gooey without burning the outer layer. In the meantime I had my crackers and Hershey’s chocolate ready.

At this point I would like to add that this would be the only time that I’d ever eat Hershey’s chocolate. It’s what is traditionally used for s'mores but if I had a choice it’d be thrown into the fire with the wood. That stuff is vile! I hope Americans don’t actually call that stuff chocolate. I’ve chewed on pen lids that tasted better than that stuff.

Somehow, the magic of the s'more means that you don’t really taste the Hershey’s. It’s a sugary sandwich of goodness. I had three (two marshmallows in each!) but felt like I was edging on a high equalling Bart and Milhouse’s syrup bender. I did not fancy a sugar hangover. I felt good though and went to sleep feeling happy with the day’s events.

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