This year all I’ve done is drift along from one job to the other. Any space left in between has been filled with sleep, eating and the occasional cinema trip. This has meant that, for me, 2011 has congealed in to one loooong-ass working day. This week has been a wake up call for me. With less than seven weeks to go, I’ve realised I better get my act together! I’ve not really done a lot other than save money and day dream wistfully. Yeah I’ve read a couple of books and watched a step 1, 2, 3 guide on how to “stay safe” whilst backpacking but other than that I’ve been a bit complacent. I’ve booked it so all I need to do is pack it and get the hell outta here…
How wrong was I! After spending half an hour on the phone to the tax man, it’s become quite clear that I have to do a lot more before I go. So, with rocket firmly wedged up one’s arse, I’ve ran ragged trying to put things in motion. I now have a debit and credit card especially for spending abroad. I’ve sorted out my subscriptions (e.g. Specsavers, Vodafone…) so nobody but me will be spending my money whilst I’m away. I’ve booked my last jab too which is nice. It will be the last time I’m asked if I’m pregnant. I’m tempted to go “Yes, I am. I’ve already sold my future baby on eBay to fund the start of my trip. Not sure what I’ll do afterwards but at least I know I won’t get Hepatitis A or B. Bonus.” Although I might end up getting arrested. Sometimes I can pull sarcasm off and other times, no matter how blindingly obvious the ridiculousness of my statements are, some people actually think that I’m being serious. It’s quite worrying and offensive really!
I’m still worried about the tax man. I had a sudden rush of excitement as I realised that I won’t have reached the cut-off amount that you have to earn to get taxed. I already had the amount totted up in my head and thought that would be a nice juicy bonus for America. I went online to the maze of a website that is HRMC and thought I had this thing down. There’s a P85 form to declare what I’ve worked this year and where I plan to work abroad. From this, I’d get a tax refund, if applicable. Simples right? No. Some computer told me that I need to write to them and request a certificate of UK residency. I need to hand this over to the Aussie tax man to ensure I don’t get taxed by the UK and Oz whilst I’m away. I then have to wait until I get back to fill out a self assessment form and THEN I’ll get a tax refund. Thing is, what I earn in Oz will go towards my UK earnings which will mean that I’ll probably end up going over the tax free allowance…so what’s the point? I have no idea. Surely if I don’t tell the tax man I’m going to Oz, open an Oz bank account, shove my earnings in that, claim back the Oz tax, then apply for a UK tax refund in April 2012 then that would be more beneficial right?*
As well as that headache, I also thought I’d have a little listen to my Japanese language CD. It’s quite good. A softly spoken gentleman states the phrase in English. A perky lady translates very slowly into Japanese, pauses, then says it again normally. I’m supposed to repeat what was said during that pause.
Hello - konnichiwa - yep, already knew that, neeext.
Goodbye - sayoonara - ok, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that in some martial arts/action flick. Sorted. Neeext.
Yes - hai - pronounced “hi”. Lovely. I can remember that.
No - iie - pronounced “e-ay”. See, keeping it simple. I like it.
Excuse me (to get attention) or I’m sorry - sumimasen - I’m liking these one word means two phrases. I think I might be alright at this…
Excuse me (to get past) - shitsuree shimasu - ok, a little tricky. I need to work on that one.
I’d like… - ga hoshiin desu ga - errr, wait, say it ag…
I think you can predict how the rest of that goes. You know that classic comedy conveyer belt scenario? The one where it starts off at a nice speed, you have enough time to pack everything up or stamp what you need. Then it starts getting a little quicker. You start to get flustered and sweat a bit but you can handle it. Then it really picks up and you can’t handle it. The boss walks in and you’re on the floor covered in cakes (it’s my imaginary situation so, naturally, I’m in a cake factory). Well that’s what it was like. I’m overwhelmed to say the least. Not that I ever thought it would be easy! I wonder if playing the CD in your sleep actually works. It might be worth a shot. My brain’s not been functioning at the best of times so I thought I’d sideline the task of learning a new language until now. What was I thinking?!
I served a couple who couldn’t speak a word of English so have caught a glimpse of what I’ll look like. Smiling helps. Pointing too. Oh dear…
I am still trying to remain optimistic though. Somehow things do tend to work out for the best. It just means I have to sift through the crap to find the silver lining. It’s there somewhere dammit!
Despite the confusion above, there have been some positives. I’ve unexpectedly spoken to or have been put in touch with people that have helped me with my trip. Oz is a bit of a mystery still but there’s a guy I work with who has spent time over there which is handy. I also had a couple of things that needed doing to my car which would be a pain to organise and expensive. I just happened to start talking to someone at work who is also a mechanic who just happens to specialise in the area of work that I need help with. He did the job for free. Nice one! I then got chatting to someone who knows someone who has spent the past five years living and working in Japan. It may come across as weird but I don’t care, it’d be great to have an insider’s current perspective of Japan. Facebook add? Why not? I also work with someone whose son has been to Japan so I’ve messaged him too. I can read all the books in the world but it would never top speaking to people who have actually been there.
I guess it’s all good practice for when I’m away…48 days baby!
* I don’t know who I’m expecting to answer that question. I’d be surprised if you understood anything I just said.
This is probably a bit late now... (Although maybe not.) It seems that you have "signed up" to the British/Aus dual tax agreement, whereby you earn money in Aus and pay tax in Britain. This probably isn't advantageous for you. Instead, you can tell the British you are leaving the country and therefore no longer subject to UK taxation. The rules governing this are actually quite complex, but you probably qualify this tax year.
ReplyDeleteBen
Thanks for the advice. It's all so confusing!
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