It Was The Best Of Times, It Was The Worst Of Times...

Worst eavesdropping moment:
Girl: "I've just come from Laos...they had really weird rules at the place I stayed...if you slept with the same guy more than three times you had to down two shots of urine. Pretty crazy right?
Guy: "Woooah. So what did you do?"
Girl: "What do you think?"

I was still on a high from my snorkelling trip the day before and awoke with a bubbling feeling of excitement. My next destination was Koh Phangan. I'd heard mixed reviews about this island but was keen to get a taste of the night life there. I had made loose plans to meet up with the guys I sang karaoke with earlier in my trip. With that in mind, I didn't feel too pressurised in making new friends and decided to sit back and relax...

The journey across was short but by no means sweet. I had one whole hour of torture courtesy of a couple and their demon child who refused to stay quiet. Squealing, screaming, stomping...seriously, what is wrong with you? Give him a lolly or something to pacify him before my eardrums burst. Soon enough, it was over and I had arrived. I departed the boat in search of my free taxi transfer to my accommodation. There was no sign with my name on and no trace of anyone from my accommodation. Great. After traipsing around at a complete loss, I was told that I needed to call my accommodation and request to be picked up. I was driven to what felt like the middle of nowhere. My bungalow wasn't as nice as the one in Koh Tao. The fan was miles away from the bed and the shower emitted a dribble of cold water. But things looked up as the place seemed to have a similar vibe to the hostel I stayed in back in Bangkok. There was a deck with cushions on and a TV. There wasn't that many people around when I arrived but I could tell that it was quite a nice place to chill out.

So this is what they must mean when they say the beach is just a stone's throw away. Well in this case the thrower must have the strength of Mr Burns as the beach is just a drunken crawl away.

I decided to go out for a stroll and get a feel for the place that I'd be calling "home" for the next six nights. The area was quiet and a lot of the places were shut. Obviously this part of the island comes alive at night. I decided to head back and chill out in the lounge. There was a large group of guys sat in the centre of the cushioned platform. I decided to sit just to the side, within earshot so I could hopefully join in the conversation at some point. I felt like the creepy guy sidling up to a group of girls in a nightclub hoping to get lucky. Is this what I have been reduced to? In Japan, it seemed a lot easier making friends. Everyone was so warm, happy and welcoming. I've not gotten the same kind of feeling from Thailand so far. Bangkok was fine and Koh Tao was quiet and peaceful. Koh Phangan reminds me of the loud drunken friend who ruins the party for everyone. The one with the inappropriate jokes and the look-at-me attitude to life. I didn't fit in well at all. I tried on multiple occasions to talk to these guys but I couldn't get more than a couple of words and a nod. Defeated, I skulked off to my bungalow for some rest. Surely things can only get better right?

Haha, wrong. It felt like I'd been catapulted back to my youth. The moments when it was me and everyone else. I was an outcast. I wasn't part of the cool gang. I'd missed the lesson on how to be. I decided to accept my fate and rely on meeting the guys from earlier in my trip. I'd hoped to be rescued. Somehow, I managed to find them and organise a meet, yet something still felt strange. I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't put my finger on it until it was too late. Everyone came to Koh Phangan with friends and I came alone hoping to find and make friends. Everyone else had someone to rely on, somebody watching their backs. Who did I have? Some guys I got merry with and sang together one night a couple of weeks ago. Shit, I'm not going to be in their thoughts when we all get totally smashed. Unfortunately this thought only dawned on me when I was past drunk. I was clutching the nearest Canadian for dear life. What was I doing here? This isn't me.

Then everything went black. All I remember is drinking the dreaded Sang Som buckets whilst trying to keep up with everyone else. I remember entering the full moon party, dancing and then nothing. I was picked up by a group of Irish girls who were trying to piece together what had happened. Somehow they dragged my ass back to where I was staying. Why were these girls being so nice to me? These heroic strangers plucked me out of the oblivion and helped me without no hesitation. I remember one girl saying, "Us girls have got to stick together. Don't you be sorry." If only I had met them before the party, maybe things might have been different. I might have had a good time. Instead, I awoke to the flashbacks of the night before...being violently sick in the bathroom and trying to take out my contact lenses only to realise I'd already done so. Now I have always thought to myself that everyone has a talent. This could be related to a hobby - singing, playing the drums, writing - or their career, or just generally being awesome. I've always struggled to find what my talent is. I do have somewhat of a party trick. No matter how drunk or tired I am, I can somehow take out my lenses and pack them away for cleaning. I wear monthlies. Now those of you who wear contact lenses know what this entails but let me explain. You need to scoop out each lens and put it into a specific capped compartment. You then need to fill a separate small capsule with lens solution up to a certain marked point. You then submerge the capped compartments into the solution and screw it shut. How in the hell did I manage to do that!? I am impressed. Probably the only one who is, but hell, that is my party trick, it's all I have.

I felt disgraceful as I walked down to reception to explain that my room needed gutting. If the room would stop spinning I'd clean up the mess myself. Without hesitation my room was spotless within the hour. I don't believe I was the first nor will I be the last to throw up in their room but it still didn't make me feel any better. This shame cannot be washed away as easily. I went back into my room and burst into tears. I'd never felt so alone. I had a sudden urge to be back home calling my friend to tell him all about it. He would reassure me that everything was ok and tell me funny stories to make me feel better about myself. I have nobody to run to here. What had started off as the best of times had quickly turned into the worst of times. There's no point in hiding it. I felt pretty bad.

I spent most of the day nursing my wounded pride and my head injury. It was too hot to move. It was then that I noticed my newly acquired tan lines. I now resemble a fruit pastille ice lolly except the colours fade in and out from brown to white. I burst out laughing. What a ridiculous sight I make. Despite the melancholy of the past few days, I knew I'd pull myself back up and plough on. I always do. I have plenty more adventures ahead and this isn't the end. I knew that my trip wouldn't all be filled with laughs and funny photos. I knew that there would be a point where I'd have to write a blog post like this. Now I have gotten it out of the way, things can only get better.

As I write this blog, I realise that Koh Phangan is full of casualties. I'd say one in three people I see is sporting a bandage of some description and some need crutches. They even have a name for it - Phangan tattoo. I saw one tourist with a hook for a hand. Shit. I got off lightly!