Curiouser And Curiouser

The memories of the disaster that was my journey to the hostel stung like the regrets of a drunken night out. I was determined not to waste another minute and had grand plans for my day ahead. I was already debriefed on what there is to do in Singapore by a British couple, Will and Sadie, along with Kat (also British) who I was dorming with. I had done zero research on Singapore. All I knew was that they had an awesome airport. This is normally where my random yet brilliant times come – from not having a clue what the hell I’m doing or where I’m going. It means I have to rely on my wits (pah!) and good fortune…i.e. stumble around for a bit, get lost and frustrated which leads to being rescued or generally an awesome moment.

I decided to take advantage of the free breakfast. It wasn’t the best but it filled the gap. Several pieces of toast and a boiled egg later I was good to go! I did fancy a cup of tea or something before I left. There was definitely something but it was no cup of tea.

What the shit is this?! Sugar, skim milk powder, instant tea (!) and E110 food colouring…is that to make it look like the colour of tea? Gross.

I wasn’t even going to attempt to drink that poison. I stuck to water and headed out. On my way to the tube station, I was distracted by the Deepavali decorations. I’d just missed the Festival Of Lights, a Hindu celebration. There are several interpretations of this festival and its meaning. The most common is that good will eventually overcome evil, so lighting the lamps during Deepavali represents the victory of lightness over darkness. It would have been lovely to see that.

I had to settle for a daytime viewing of the decorations.

The metro station was only a few minutes up the road which meant I could leave my rusty internal compass in storage for now. I rolled my eyes to myself. Yet another transport system I need to master. Singapore is simple once you know where you’re going. The tube system is made up of a handful of colour lines which is a teeny tiny fraction of what I experienced in Tokyo. The ticket machine made things easy for me. Firstly, the information was displayed in English which helped. I simply had to touch the stop where I wanted to end up at and insert the demanded amount. The machine spat out a plastic card which opens the barriers at each station when scanned. Once the ticket is spent, I return it to one of the ticket machines and receive a dollar back. Lovely.

I joined the masses of hurried locals on the tube to Haw Par Villa. Will and Sadie told me this was the weirdest museum/park/garden place they’d ever seen. It was so weird that they couldn’t even sum it up in words. I had to see it for myself.

I stepped out of the tube station and was battered by the rain. Oh I forgot to say, I slept through a thunderstorm the day before. When I ventured out for my curry the place was dry so I was non-the-wiser. Typically, I wasn’t dressed for rain. I had a thin cotton floor-length skirt on and a vest top. No umbrella. No waterproof. Oh what fun!

I sprinted (somewhat haphazardly as my feet kept slipping out of my counterfeit Havaianas) over to the park hoping for some sort of shelter. There were some statues and sculptures on the outside which prepared me for the surreal displays indoors.

Warm welcome!

Good morning to you random decapitated men

 A war...

With rats!!

Feisty lot these are!

The tone had definitely been set. The rain showed no signs of stopping so I went indoors…to the ten courts of hell. I slowly stepped inside a dark cave which would have been quite eerie if it wasn’t for the dozens of other intrigued tourists around me. As I walked along, I passed information boards and sculptures set in hollowed out areas. Each court represented a punishment bestowed by King Qinguang.

First Court – King Qinguang decides your fate. Here’s an unnerving “fact”. Those who were evil doers in their past lives will be “…sent to repent in the ‘Mirror of Retribution’ and then taken to a subsequent Court of Hell to be punished.” Harsh!

Second Court – King Chujiang – punishments include being thrown into a volcanic pit, frozen into blocks of ice and thrown into a pool of blood and drowned. The last one is specifically for prostitutes.

Third Court – King Songdi – for being ungrateful and disrespecting your elders, you get your heart cut out. For being a drug addict you get tied to a red hot copper pillar and grilled. Mmm crispy!

Fourth Court – King Wuguan – For dodging taxes you get pounded by a stone mallet. For showing disobedience to one’s siblings…grounded by a large stone. I wonder what that would look like…

Argh!

Fifth Court – King Yanluo – Plotted another death for the victim’s money/property means you get thrown onto a hill of knives.

Sixth Court – King Piencheng – cheating, cursing or abducting someone all means you get thrown into a tree of knives. Misuse of books, possessing porn and wasting food means you get your body sawn in two.

Just like this!

Seventh Court – King Taishan – rumour-mongers get their tongues pulled out and rapists get thrown into a wok of boiling oil.

Eighth Court – King Dushi

Ninth Court – King Pingdeng – Neglect of the old and young means you get crushed under boulders.

Tenth Court – King Zhuanlun – now this is where I get lost. The sign says that after serving their sentences, prisoners are brought to the tenth court to face the Wheel of Reincarnation and the Pavilion of Forgetfulness. Pretty self-explanatory as to what those do. I’m just not sure how someone who’s been crushed by a boulder can make it to the Tenth Court!

I stumbled out of the Hell cave a little weirded-out to say the least! The rain had started to ease off and I felt a bit better as there was much more to see.

 A sculpture in the making. It will probably look more disturbing when painted which is a shame. I like how the little kid is posing as if to say “tah daaaah”.

 A little hanky panky in the park, whilst a little child claps and two old men throw rocks at them. And the moral of this story is..?

Don't look into their eyes...agh!

Why?

I was almost swept away.

Unfortunately I had to leave. The rest of the features were uphill and I was already soaked – another time perhaps. I also wanted to visit the botanic gardens but there was no point in doing that now either! I didn’t want to add the word muddy to my sodden exterior. I headed across to Orchard Road which is a well-known shopping district. I was on the hunt for an IMAX theatre…