I had no idea what was awaiting me in Koh Phi Phi. I'd spoken to a couple of people along the way who said they loved Phi Phi, but they also raved about Koh Phangan so wasn't sure whether their opinion was to be trusted! The boat ride was a bit dubious. I didn't get much sleep the night before so fell asleep on the boat. When I woke up I didn't recognise anyone from when I originally boarded. I could tell that we stopped a couple of times but I wasn't sure where we were and knew Phi Phi was the last stop so fell back asleep. I was told that Krabi to Phi Phi only takes 30 minutes...it had been two and half hours. Where the heck was I?! I looked around and saw there were people still with Phi Phi stickers on so calmed down a bit.
Phi Phi is so compact and the streets are too narrow for cars. The main modes of transport are longtail boats (above), bicycles and motorcycles.
It was a beautiful day
After beating off the crowds and wading past the multiple locals promoting their accommodation, I found my transfer. Each visitor had to pay 20 baht (almost 50p) before entering for island maintenance. I was wondering what my transfer entailed seen as there seemed to be no motor vehicles around. Myself and three others loaded our baggage into a trailer which was pushed through the streets to where we were staying. The pier and surrounding area was populous and abound with shops and eateries. I tried to take a note of each place of interest but lost track. I started to feel a bit worried that Phi Phi was a condensed version of Phangan. There were plenty of people around but I've learnt that that means nothing if they have no interest in speaking to anyone! The worker pushing our luggage started to pick up speed when I thought I saw a couple of familiar faces. I didn't have chance to stop and investigate further so moved on.
The one downfall of pre-booking accommodation is that you don't truly know where it is situated in relation to the key hang-out areas. My place was a trek plus a hill climb with some steep steps for good measure. If I was sweating before then I was positively soaked through at this point. I dumped my stuff and texted the people who I thought I saw. It turns out I was right, John and Dave, who I met in Krabi were in Phi Phi. It was their last day. They were leaving for Phuket in two hours. It was such a shame but I'm glad I got to see them before I went.
I ordered breakfast as I hadn't eaten anything so far. Dave assured me that it was the best breakfast he had eaten in Thailand. I took this to mean it would be tasty when in fact it was half cooked and gross. I wasn't happy. I was just getting past this when John told me he had something to show me - a photo on his camera. I naively accepted this request and took his camera. I thought Dave's poo photo was bad. This was absolutely disgusting. I'm pretty sure he emptied half his weight into that toilet bowl. He started zooming in to the photo and examining his poo - "What is that? I don't remember eating that?" This reminded him of a few poo stories which then lead to vomit stories. Dave and John were soon joined by some (female) friends they made earlier during their visit. I thought they would have a similar reaction to me when hearing the stories, especially as they were eating. Most of the girls did but one was joking along with it all. She has a stronger stomach then me.
When the guys left I debated on whether to go back to my place and have a much needed shower or try and speak to the girls. I always become very self-conscious around girls. I think this stems from my days of being bullied by them in school. I find guys a lot easier as they are simple and are devoid of all that crap! There are some exceptions of course but an acceptable rarity. I was a lot more aware of my mannerisms and appearance. I made eye contact and tried to think of something good to say. I can't remember what it was but it worked. The girls introduced themselves - Michelle (Aussie), Gemma (Brit), Emma (Aussie) and Katie (American). They are all acrobats working in Singapore. They were visiting Thailand during a break from work. Although I'm sure they get it a lot, I was so surprised. I'm used to speaking to English teachers, career-breakers and students. Acrobats never crossed my mind.
We had a great laugh swapping stories. I must admit, I loved having female company again. Despite not having a clue what they were talking about, I leaned in with avid interest whilst the girls relayed the latest gossip at work. It sounded so complicated and the girls tried their best to add context for me to understand but it was still way over my head. This thing's for sure, I'm glad I'm not mixed up in all that drama. On the subject of drama, I also heard a brilliant story from Dave and John about a Canadian couple who were arguing the night before I arrived. Boyfriend got exceedingly drunk and kissed a girl in front of Girlfriend. Girlfriend was obviously upset and shouted at Boyfriend. Girlfriend and Boyfriend broke up. The next morning, Dave and John saw the couple back together, although Girlfriend didn't look happy. The guys spoke to the couple and asked how their night was and if they could remember anything. Boyfriend said he couldn't and begged for the guys to refresh his memory. He joked about it in front of Girlfriend to the shock of the guys. The group separated. Moments later Boyfriend ran up to the guys sporting a cheeky grin and asked "Was the girl hot?" The guys answered back with a halfhearted yes and Boyfriend replied "sweet" and strutted back to his heartbroken missus. It is moments like these that I am glad to be single if that's what is on offer these days!
On the subject of what guys are on offer these days (get me with the conversational links!), we were shortly introduced to Oli. We couldn't tell if he was drunk or crazy. In the end, we deduced that he is both. Oli swaggered over and struck up a conversation. As he grew more familiar with us he thought it would be a good idea to lie on the table with one leg up and one arm propping up his head. I'm not sure what was going through his mind at this point, but it was like he was trying to mirror a Calvin Klein ad, but he looked like he would fit in better on Geordie Shore. Although it turned out he's a cockney so not sure how that would work. Please let me be clear though, I'm not saying this to be negative. Oli made us all laugh so hard like you wouldn't believe. I'm just painting the scene so you guys can get an idea of what I was dealing with here! Oli introduced us to his bodyguard Tony from Texas. This guy was huge. From the tales that Oli regaled, it seemed that Tony's title was necessary. This guy was mad. He told us about a night he spent in a bar just around the corner from where we were sat. The Reggae Bar has a full sized Thai boxing ring. Each person that fights there receives a free bucket (cocktail). This was incentive enough on an island like Phi Phi. Oli challenged a guy that just happened to be an Irish gypsy who championed in bare-knuckle fighting....wait a minute...isn't this Snatch? Oli told a great story, whether it was true or not.
All this continual laughter did draw curious stares. Perhaps out of annoyance more than anything but I didn't care, I was having fun. It all became a little too serious when one of the girls from a table next to us asked Katie (who unfortunately has the loudest laugh) to stop screaming. Well I know what I would have done in that situation but I think Katie handled it perfectly. She yelled "I'm sooooorrrrrrryyyyyyyy!!" in a loud screechy voice. The girl looked at her with disdain. I wondered what was up her arse. The group were Israeli. I had a frosty experience with an Israeli couple in Krabi so this didn't exactly help with my impressions of the nation! I said a few choice words and tried to make my point that she was being rude and unreasonable. Rude, as she never said excuse me or please which left her request seem more like a demand. Said girl was also being unreasonable given the context. We moved tables so they could all sit together, they started smoking near us while we were eating, the pub was practically empty as we reached our laughing peak so they could move at any moment and more stating-the-bleeding-obvious, we're on Phi Phi love, not a Sandals resort. I could tell my breathe was being wasted as I could tell that the girl was still far from pleased. In jumped Oli with a few sterner words. No expletives, just bare facts. Except he wouldn't let it go. On and on he went at her as if he wasn't going to stop until she apologised. The stuff he came out with was hilarious. It was one of those you-had-to-be-there-to-understand moments. Amid this melee, I couldn't help thinking that I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. It was at this point that I knew Phi Phi was going to be good.
As the afternoon drew to a close, we decided to head back and freshen up. The girls were going for power naps but I wasn't sure if it was wise to do this. It is difficult enough motivating myself after a power nap but, being so far up a giant hill, I thought it was best to stay awake as long as I could. The walk back to my place is a lot easier than the walk down (don't ask me why as I have no idea why myself!). It was dark and I knew I'd taken a wrong turning somewhere. I paced back and forth a couple of times when a guy on a bicycle asked me if I was ok. I told him where I needed to be and he said he was heading that way and proffered his back seat. Getting a croggy, backie to you Southerners and hitching a ride to everyone else, took me back to my childhood. We got chatting and Craig told me that he works in a scuba shop and is a diving instructor. I was glad that he stopped there and didn't drum out his latest sales pitch. We had a nice chat whilst dodging the pedestrians. Like Japan, people in Thailand are never in too much of a hurry to get out of the way. Poor Craig had his bicycle bell stolen - we both branded the act as sabotage. Instead we had to yelp "beep beep" which was, of course, ignored. I made sure I said thank you to those who moved and tutted at the ones who didn't. I still didn't really know where I was when Craig dropped me off but I had some idea. It wasn't long until I found where I needed to be. I had drinks with the girls but it wasn't a late one. I left with the knowledge that this was only the beginning. I have four more nights left to play with.
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