Sydney So Far...Guys

The one thing I have learnt whilst travelling is that backpackers are randy little devils. I use that in a general sense as I’ve seen guys as well as girls putting themselves out there if you get what I mean. Who can blame them? If you are safe, there are no consequences. Nobody at home knows exactly what you’re getting up to so your reputation is intact and moving from place to place ensures that any drama that could be created is left at the side of the road by the airport. What’s not to like about that?

Hold your horses, I’m not talking about me. It would be easy to get caught up in that world and I’m not denying I’ve had fun (mum if you’re reading this, I’m saving myself for my wedding night), but there’s fun and there’s leaving your dignity, morals and knickers in your locker whilst you dive into the queue of rampant guys waiting in the nearest bar. Hey, if that’s what makes you happy then so be it!

As it seems like every male backpacker has bathed in a bath tub of sex panther before they arrived at their intended destination, I have experienced an increase in male attention. Something which surprises me as I only seemed to get advances from the drooling drunken perv at the corner of the dance floor back home. The guys on my travels that showed an interest had all their teeth and looked human. Shocking, well that was until I noticed the above and realised that most male backpackers will take a sock-puppet with all the right parts home if it showed an interest. Oh dear...

Readers might have noticed that around 90% of the friends I have made on my travels have been male. Not all of them showed an interest in me. That would be insane. I have been very lucky in that I have met some great guys who don’t flinch at my friendliness nor do they interpret it as my signal of undying love for them. How refreshing.

But Australia wouldn’t be complete without a tale or two about the random actions of the male population. If only they knew I was writing a blog. For my own safety, I won’t use their names.

*****

Guy #1 had joked a couple of times about liking me to my roommate but I just laughed it off, especially as he’s old enough to be my father. I made the mistake of turning it into a joke and wound him up a little bit. He blushed and didn’t know what to say. I thought no more of it.

Several hours and a copious amount of alcohol units consumed (on his part) later, Guy #1 knocked on my door and told me he genuinely liked me and walked off. I didn’t have chance to pick my jaw up off the floor and reply to his declaration.

I soon forgot about it and put it down to the booze. As I was alone in the room I comfortably stripped off and picked up my shower things. I chose to use the towel that the hostel provided me. I would hardly call it a towel though, more like an over-sized flannel. I’d say I’m pretty average sized yet the towel would only fit round my first love handle. By the time the ends met at the other side, practically everything was on show. I somehow manoeuvred the towel so it covered the essentials – there are kids running round this place. That kind of sight would scar a child for life!

I peered out my room and looked left and then up the corridor. Both routes were clear. I hovered for 30 seconds to be on the safe side and still nothing. I tip-toed towards the bathroom whilst clinging on to the flannel for dear life. What I wouldn’t give for a large fluffy white towel. Phew, I made it.

Shower over, I slipped my flannel back on. It seemed the heat of the water had shrunk me slightly as I felt a bit more give when I wrapped it around my body once more. Either that or I stretched it.

I managed to make it back to my room without being seen. It’s a terribly awkward moment meeting a guy in the corridor whilst dressed in a towel of any size.

With the room still to myself, I dried myself off and dropped my towel and had a good sing-song.

BANG BANG

What the fudge? I squealed and grabbed the flannel. I assumed it was Steff as he always forgets his card. Just to be on the safe side I opened the door a crack. In peered Guy #1.

“I’ve just got out of the shower. What’s up?” I said impatiently in the hope that he’d sense the tone and skiddadle. Unfortunately that didn’t happen. He didn’t respond and just leered.

Me: “Guy #1, I’m not dressed and this towel is shit. What do you want?”
Guy #1: “Give us a peek, I don’t mind.”
I had no words for that and replied with a look of disgust and confusion.
Guy #1 – “I just wanted to let you know that I’m a shy guy but I like you. All you need to do is give me the word and I’m here if you want me.”

Oh. Dear. Lord.

‘Right, thanks.” I closed the door on him. I cringed and felt sick. He’s not going to remember that when he’s sober. That’s what I kept telling myself anyway. It’s true, he didn’t remember but felt the awkwardness instantly. Strange man.

*****

Guy #2, AKA The Starer, was indeed the creepiest of the weird. It honestly felt like he was trying to send telepathic thoughts into my brain, he stared at me that intensely. He’s not the first guy I have met who does this. I don’t get it. It’s hardly alluring.

Anyhow, I thankfully didn’t have any moments as awkward as the above with this guy but he sure did try. I didn’t really get on with him which didn’t help. Our personalities clashed and I always had the overriding feeling that I had to punch him in the face. It’s a rare trait that does bring out the mostly dormant violent side in me. In my lifetime I can only recall two people that conjured up those feelings. As I don’t have a criminal record for assault and battery, you can assume correctly that I used all my efforts to avoid these people. I tried the same with this guy but it wasn’t easy.

Guy #2 always found me and tried any excuse to come to my room. I was so rude to him. I didn’t speak to him or make eye contact and gave one word answers if he tried to talk to me. I used distraction tools like my laptop or just leaving the room entirely. He just didn’t get the hint. I did cave in when he asked me to rub suntan lotion into his back. This guy has hygiene issues. I couldn’t even dry-heave as there was a mirror facing us! Never again!

One time when a group of us were eating, they each complimented him on his apparent weight loss. He then turned and looked at me, expecting something just as fake and over-enthusiastic. Well I’m the wrong person for that! Instead, I shoved a bundle of chips in my mouth and looked away. That was the day I learnt that food has another use other than to satisfy.

Soon enough, he found new prey and I was off the hook. Phew!

*****

As my normal hideouts are either my room or the beach, I’ve not had any other encounters with guys at the hostel. The above experiences happened early on in my stay and put me off venturing out too far.

However, not all my experiences have been negative. I have been a subject to the Aussie charm and I don’t mean the brash heckles on the street. The statements, “Do you want to see some action?” and “I know a way to keep you awake” didn’t quite have me weak at the knees.

Guy #3 – The Aussie – kind of threw me off balance slightly. I’ve seen and heard many stories about people visiting Australia, finding love and never looking back. It’s not something I anticipated would happen to me especially as I’m so driven towards seeing the rest of the world. I stop for no man! Perhaps my stubbornness interfered in the events surrounding The Aussie or maybe it was just never meant to be…

It was just another standard day at work – quiet but steady. I served a table of three guys who certainly made my life that much more difficult with their crazy order (I won’t bore you with the details). Beers were a-flowing which meant I visited the table a few times. Banter ensued and one guy told me his mate liked me and can he have my number. His friend was speechless. If he protested too much I could take offence, if he didn’t protest at all it might look weird. Either way, his mate dropped him in it. I laughed it off as a joke and the conversation moved on.

We spoke about my travels and they bombarded me with information and places to go. There was no way that I’d remember it all. Two of the three guys had girlfriends and they arrived soon after. They didn’t make it easy for me to work. As it was so quiet there wasn’t that much to do. So instead, all I could concentrate on was the fact that these two women were staring at me and whispering things to the guys. Great, thanks!

After they all ate, they invited me out for drinks later after hearing that I haven’t met any nice Aussies yet and friends were running thin on the ground. I gave The Aussie my number and awaited a text.

It’s not something I would have done back in England. As a waitress, guys get carried away and it’s not the first time someone’s asked for my number. But I was bored, had no friends in Oz and they were all easy-going.

I received a text quite late in the night to say that they were in the city. Unfortunately that was too far out for me. By the time I got to the city, I’d have to come back again. I also had an early start the next day so gave it a miss.

I was a bit disappointed but soon after, The Aussie text me about another evening out. He was a bit vague as to who was coming out and I wasn’t sure if it was a date or not. I just decided to go with it and see what happened.

It happened to be one of the best nights I’ve had in Sydney. We met up – it turned out to be just me and him at the beginning – and had a wonderful Thai dinner. He paid, which screams date! Conversation flowed nicely and he made me laugh.

He drove us into the city to meet some of his friends. He told me he had double-booked and wondered if I minded staying out for drinks with his friends. At this point I’d not seen much of the city and who better to show me round than a local!

The drive down wasn’t awkward either. We spoke in depth about a lot of things, mainly my trip. The conversation drifted on to film – “mainstream or arthouse?” – The Aussie asked. Well he seemed to know a bit more than most just from that statement. He then asked me if I’d seen Stranger Than Fiction which just happens to be one of my favourite films. He knew my favourite scene…it was a freaky moment, one of many that night.

If I was to write a list of things that I would like a guy to encompass, he fit the bill. Active and sporty, check. He rock climbs, goes on hikes, swims and so on and so forth. Good sense of humour, preferably cheeky and a little naughty, check. Confident but not cocky, check. Gentlemanly, check. It goes on. He was the perfect guy. He volunteers for St John’s Ambulance and he’s trained in sports and therapeutic massage.

The thing is…there was no spark. Nothing. Zilch. Nadda. Non. Arse. I didn’t get any butterflies and there were plenty of moments when there should have been. He said some lovely things to me and I felt nothing. I must be dead inside.

It’s not that I’ve been sat pining away for a guy to sweep me off my feet, but it is a fairy tale that all girls think of thanks to films and TV. Here is my knight in shining armour and I’m just a cold fish flailing about on the harbour.

Like I said, we had a wonderful night. We walked along the harbour and stopped off to meet his friends at the Opera Bar. They had scored great seats with a perfect view of the Opera House, the Harbour Bridge and the live acoustic band. The music was incredible and the atmosphere was bubbling. Not only that, but someone ordered onion rings and chips and dip for the table. Oh nom nom, yes!

The night ended too soon as I headed back to the cave. The Aussie was a perfect gentleman and didn’t put any moves on me. We left it at that. I thought I’d made a firm friendship but he wanted more. We planned on going to the cinema but he made it clear that he really liked me and I panicked. I didn’t want to lead him on and I didn’t want to be with him just because I knew he liked me. I wanted to be sure first.

After a couple of days thinking I got my answer. The Aussie came into work to surprise me and rather than feel all a-flutter I felt a weird jolting feeling in my stomach. It wasn’t a nice feeling. I decided to text him and let him know how I felt. I wasn’t expecting anything back but a couple of days later he text me to say just-friends is fine.

Four cancelled plans later (two cancellations each), we were doomed and haven't met since.

I have no regrets. As brilliant as the night was, I didn’t get that spark and that’s what counts. I’m only in Australia temporarily and I came here with no intentions of starting something up with someone. If that were to happen it would, not only spoil my future travel plans, but negate all the reasons behind my trip. I’m choosing to be selfish and pick me and my trip over guys. I want a year full of adventure not boy drama!